But are you starved for inspiration? You could take a chance - maybe that Celine Dion CD won't be an epic fail (you were only buying it for yourself anyway, weren't you?). Or you could do something different.
Let me recommend the Resurrection Burial Tomb.
Invented by the Reverend Daniel Izzo, this lovingly crafted device is a great hit at parties, and goes down a treat with the ladies.
But how does it work? Let Reverend Izzo's own patent application for this marvelous technology illustrate how.
You may at this point be thinking, "gosh, what an interesting fellow this Reverend Izzo must be."
But the true genius of the man can only really be appreciated once you look over his correspondences with the US Patent and Trademark Office.
For example, would it have occurred to you to pay the filing fee in gold?
The USPTO were flummoxed, but our man stuck to his guns. He knows the law, even if he can't spell.
I like the way he adds a few billion novelty notes, just to be on the safe side (Zimbabwean currency?)
I can understand why he has plenty of gold lying about. He's apparently been extracting it from silver and lead
But the USPTO weren't being good sports. The patent examiner rejected his groundbreaking invention, and dismissed the claims of his patent application. So he resorted to a novel tactic to get his application through.
Still no luck, though. In between various incoherent threats and pleas he suddenly revealed a startling medical breakthrough.
Surely now they'll see the miracle that is his invention, and let the application through. Time will tell.
Let's hope so. Because people like the Reverend Izzo need our support. We need to encourage and reward those who break down barriers.
So the laws of science say it won't work: well maybe the laws need to be changed.
You know this is the perfect present. So this festive season give that special someone the gift that will keep on giving.
Why are you defending this scum? He is an attempted law-breaker (of physics), and the Herald, Labour, National and ACT are about to pass legislation that will double his non-parole period, and allow the Meat Board to spy on him while he sleeps.
ReplyDelete"Why are you defending this scum? He is an attempted law-breaker (of physics)"
ReplyDeleteI've been against physics for some time, and I was bitterly disappointed when the current government decided not to abolish it. I think people like Reverend Izzo are heroes.
Hello - the device is now Patented - in Marie Byrd Land and Ellsworth Land Antartica, along with the newly organized US Trust Territory of Marie Byrd Land and Ellsworth Land ( a place that can support natural cryonics for those that wish to be preserved or medically resurrected after death )
ReplyDeleteInventions are not money - if you want money then a erson should make money ( coins ) - a lession that caused me to lose some of the most important things I had.
Thank you for posting this, I didn't think people would ever know the rotten time I had with the US Patent Office - whose only source of funding is from inventor fees not tax dollars - about US gold clause contracts as US Dollars - they where made a Legal tender by the Act of Congress of June 5th 1933 ( US Title 31 sec 5103 ) and made exchangable for other forms of US currency by the Act of Congress of Aug 27th 1935 see the original joint resolution for US Title 31 section 5118 part B )
My holding are still secured with a mortgage with about 2000 miles of abandoned railroad tracks of the former New York Central Railroad the gold bonds where/are due from 1997-2013 but we don't want to foreclose on the mortgage because we would have to pay the taxes and liablity and our mortgage gold bonds ( legally holding the term 'United States of America' ) are money anyways see US vs Bankers Trust 1935.
I spent over $10,000 USD at the USPTO since 1996 just to secure my intellectual property rights , if any, and then found my local government suddenly bullying me over my 13 messed up rental properties , demanding a total sum over $250,000 USD for code violation fines etc, from 1996-2000 - starting two weeks after I filed my patent for the 1st invention , the Microwave Hot Water Boiler Heating System now Patented
The devices in question in the invention ( the nuclear electric generators with radioactive magnets or microwave emitting magnetron ) do not violate the laws of physics but are nuclear and radioactive ( restricted / limited use ) see Richardson's Law for Thermionic Emmissions and thorium plated cathodes )
for more information concerning:
History of the United States Trust Territory of Marie Byrd Land and Ellsworth Land Antarctica go to:
http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/history-of-the-united-states-trust-territory-of-marie-byrd-land-and-ellsworth-land-antarctica/7638512
" Claimed a territory of the United States in 1929 and 1935 by Antarctic explorers, Admiral Richard Evelyn Byrd and Lincoln Ellsworth, the United States Trust Territory of Marie Byrd Land and Ellsworth Land was organized in 2008 and 2009. It comprises of the land area in Western Antarctica that extends between 90 degrees West and 150 degrees West on the Antarctica continent, incorporating the Territory State of Marie Byrd Land and the Territory State of Ellsworth Land Antarctica in perpetual union. The area is governed by The Articles of Confederation of the United States Trust Territory of Marie Byrd Land and Ellsworth Land accepted on January 22nd 2008 and ratified on March 20th 2009. "
Best Wishes in the Future Dr Izzo