Sensible Whaling Trust spokesman Ahab McReverend said that the move by the New Zealand government was a courageous one, and would ensure the high seas were safe from the menace of whales and other cetaceans.
“I know the liberals and do-gooders will criticise this decision, but that's because they aren't prepared to blame themselves for the problem that has developed. Had we not made such futile efforts to stop commercial whaling in the first place, I am confident we would have seen an eradication of the whale problem.
"Many innocent Japanese and Norwegian children have gone without tasty blubber because of these needless anti-whaling laws. Offending whales have in some cases been encouraged to do as they please, with no regard for others.
"In some cases we are even encouraging these animals to breed."
Mr McReverend said there had been too much focus on the rights of whales, and this had led to a culture of disrespect towards whalers.
"There was once a time when the whaler's word was law. If you were a whale out about your business and saw a whaler in action you knew what to expect, and you took your punishment. Nowadays just about the first thing any whale will do when it sees someone waving a harpoon at it is run for it. Pursuits are all too common.
"This lack of respect and obedience stems from the liberal values we instill in wildlife. We tell animals that they can run free and do as they please, and we even spend vast sums on wildlife reserves for them. This has to stop.
"We therefore welcome this tough policy against whales. The cetacean scourge must be stamped out."
This post is worth it just for "Ahab McReverend". Cheers Scott :)
ReplyDeleteL
and they're incontinent had you noticed? Well..if not that then at least they tend to 'go' all over the show and we've got to swim innit!
ReplyDeleteLew, always a pleasure. Might I also say that your blogsite is consistently splendid.
ReplyDeletePats on the back, pink gins all 'round, what-what?
ReplyDeleteL
And would you look at that, on The Panel, too. Well done!
ReplyDeleteL
Ah, yes, well, all I'll say is it's a heck of a lot easier coming up with clever things to say when you don't have a microphone stuffed up your nose. And when someone as sharp and witty as Findlay McDonald isn't your co-panelist.
ReplyDelete