Saturday, June 26, 2010

The Right To Wank

Is masturbation a human right?

The Dom Post reports:
Convicted  murderer Stephen Hudson is taking his jailers to court, alleging a breach of his human rights for seizing an issue of racy women's magazine Cosmopolitan.

Hudson, 39, has filed High Court proceedings understood to relate to a 2008 copy of the magazine, which contains a lavishly illustrated article comparing natural breasts to those with implants.

Hudson was found guilty in November of murdering 22-year-old Nicholas Pike in the central North Island in March 2002. 
I suppose that when you're in the nick and the only love you're gonna get comes from that fat toothless dude down the corridor, giving pleasure to one's self while perusing women's magazines is probably the only joy you can hope for. If you were locked up for long enough you might even find the pictures in Women's Weekly arousing.
Part of Hudson's argument is based on the "boobs on bikes parade" court case, in which a judge refused to stop a street parade of topless women riding motorbikes.

"He says that if young children can stand on the side of the road and see boobs on bikes why can he not see boobs inside," his mother, Christina Billing says.

"It's a simple magazine, it's not pornographic or R18 or anything. There are a lot of good articles in them."
Unless Mr Hudson is a metrosexual murderer, I think we can all assume he's not reading the articles.

Can you imagine trying to explain to your mother why you were taking the case? "Mum, I know I've been a bad boy, but if I can't wank furiously my life just won't be worth living any more."

Hudson's argument that people can do as they please outside prison has a fatal flaw. We put people in prison so that they can't do as they please. I'm all for not treating people in prison like animals, but it's not meant to be a holiday either.

I assume Hudson is seeking legal aid for this. Which seems an unfortunate use of taxpayer funds. After all, those funds could be used to help hard working Cabinet minsters to relax in their hotel rooms.

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