Tuesday, August 23, 2011

My Brilliant Plan To Defeat National, And How You Can Help

Dear fellow lefties,

We have to come up with a plan to defeat this government. National are going to start flogging off our assets if they are still in power after the election, and they're also going to gut the welfare state, do their best to kneecap ACC, destroy Kiwisaver, and ensure that the gap between the richest and poorest in our society continues to widen.

The good news is I am developing a plan. I've worked out the first part of the plan, but I need your help to complete it.

Here's the plan so far:
  1. We all fight amongst ourselves.
  2. [This is the bit I need your help with]
  3. Key's government topples faster than Tripoli.
I can't wait to hear your ideas.
Posted by at

14 comments:

  1. I'll give it some thought, and come up with a strategy for you; pro bono too; if anyone needs Tory Charity at the moment, it's the Labour Party!


    PS: Are you trying to out-satire Dim Post?

    ReplyDelete

  2. 1. We all fight amongst ourselves.
    2. NATO airstrikes.
    3. Key's government topples faster than Tripoli.

    I like the way two segues beautifully into three in my proposal, and the reconstruction work will be a significant GDP boost as well.

    ReplyDelete

  3. wait for the elections - and when no-one votes for john key and national's policies - then labour will win by default - then the labour mps will fight among themselves as to who should be 'in charge' of what - but they will still fight among themselves - pro bono advice - all care taken but absolutely no responsibility.
    PS (C) Copyright asserted 2011. Idea Patent no: NZ 20112811201126110211. (now when was the election date)

    Diana and friends

    ReplyDelete

  4. 1. We fight amongst ourselves.
    2. Key rules with an iron fist for 42 years.
    3. Key's government falls faster than Tripoli.

    ReplyDelete

  5. 1. We all fight amongst ourselves.
    2. The Greens come within cooee of Labour, and Labour realise they have to sort their shit out.
    3. Key's second-term government topples faster than Tripoli.

    L

    ReplyDelete

  6. Your 'now you see it now you don't' plan of some months back would fit neatly into the no.2 slot, Scott :-)
    Elephants eh!

    ReplyDelete

  7. 1. We all fight amongst ourselves.
    2. This produces the ultimate cage-fighter with a Key-destroying signature move.
    3. Key's second-term government topples faster than Tripoli.

    ReplyDelete

  8. 1. We all fight amongst ourselves.
    2. Martin Bouazizi.
    3. Key's government topples faster than Tripoli.

    ReplyDelete

  9. 1. We all fight amongst ourselves.
    2. Helen Clark sponsors a UN Security Council resolution for sanctions on the Key government.
    3. Key's government topples faster than Tripoli.

    ReplyDelete

  10. 1. Labour fights tooth and claw, blood and gore

    2. Duncan Garner spontaneously combusts on screen.

    3. Key's government tipples etc.

    ReplyDelete

  11. Find a guy with an even bigger "shit eating grin" than John Key, make him the labour candidate and you have a winner. People just _love_ that shit eating grin.

    ReplyDelete

  12. Here's my crazy plan:

    1) Labour and National get the fuck through their grieving process for their cosy FPP duopoly on political power. Sixteen years is long enough to be stuck on denial and anger.

    2) Rinse.

    3) Repeat.

    ReplyDelete

  13. 1 We fight among ourselves
    2 Sanity prevails
    3 Key's government topples

    ReplyDelete

  14. 1) We all fight amongst ourselves.

    2) John Key turns out to be Hitler's Secret Love Child

    3) Key's government topples faster than Tripoli.

    Even then, Labour will still struggle judging by the poll results...

    ReplyDelete

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