Monday, September 12, 2011

Sensible Whaling Trust Calls For Violence Against Penguins To End

The Sensible Whaling Trust has denounced the Government's lack of action over the apparent murder of the Emperor Penguin Happy Feet.

The celebrated penguin was released back into the wild over a week ago with a transmitter glued to him.

However, nothing has been heard from the transmitter for several days, and fears are growing that the penguin has been eaten by an Orca or other sea mammal.

Sensible Whaling Trust spokesperson Ahab McReverend said there was little doubt that a whale had devoured the bird.

"The seas are no longer safe for our adorable sea birds," Mr McReverend said.

"Thanks to many years of soft liberalism and a rampant culture of do-goodism and political correctness towards sea mammals, we now have a situation where killer whales are free to swim in our oceans with impunity.

"They no longer fear us, and it would be a very brave penguin who dared to even set foot in the waters surrounding our nation."

Mr McReverend said that entire sections of the Southern Ocean were becoming no-go zones for penguins.

"They can't even go for a little paddle without the risk of some murderous whale eating them. They live in constant terror of these thugs of the sea.

"But it's the politicians who are to blame. We have been calling for a crackdown on antisocial cetacean behaviour for years now, but the do-gooders who run the country come up with excuse after excuse for their inaction.

"We are now reaping the harvest of years of liberal anything-goes political correctness. We have allowed our sea mammal law and order policies to be captured by ivory-tower academics and animal-welfare workers, and decency and good sense have flown out the window.

"How many more lovable penguins must die before we finally say enough is enough?"

2 comments:

  1. OMG! Its a re-invention of Jonah and the whale!

    Except the whale has morphed into an Emperor penguin called Happy Feet! and about time too - to visit havoc on the human beings that caused him so much @#%! to fall on his lovely black and white head.

    Captain Ahab was last seen running like crazy on the surface of the oceans to get away - from Happy Feet who is now disguised as a whale!

    Dah, da, dah da! (to the tune of Jaws) penguins can sink naturally beneath the waves - and when they look up from and through the swirls of the depths - the profile of skinny Capt Ahab is evident - food for thought!

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  2. Balderdash! Happy Feet is till swimming happily through the Great Southern Ocean dancing away. His transmitter was on the XT network and its just failed again!

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