The Government has introduced into Parliament a series of amendments to the Immigration Act, in an effort to keep out illegal immigrants.
John Key announced today that the law would be changed to put a stop to the influx of boatpeople and put an end to the massive crisis threatening to overwhelm New Zealand's immigration system.
Officials have long been concerned about the potential threat to civilised society that illegal refugees pose.
Although no illegal refugee boats have ever reached New Zealand, the dangers posed to a nation of four and a half million people by a boatload of desperate and wretchedly poor brown people, assuming they survived the immense sea voyage here, is too dreadful for many to countenance.
Experts say that brown people often speak a language other than English, eat different foods, and engage in unusual religious practices.
It is feared that if even one refugee boat managed to somehow make it across thousands of kilometres of difficult seas, the few dozen ragged and desperate brown people that set foot on New Zealand shores would corrupt our morals, destroy our economy with their bludging, and speak all funny funny.
Medical authorities already have contingency plans in place in the event of a refugee boat landing.
Their modelling has shown that the country's hospital system would quickly be overwhelmed in the event of a boat of brown people arriving here to make a better life, as radio talkback callers all around New Zealand went into sudden seizures, haemorrhaged, or experienced severe chest pains and panic attacks.
Medical plans to protect the population include the creation of special gated communities, and economic measures designed to encourage white people to look down in disdain at the minimum-wage immigrants serving their burgers or cleaning their office toilets.
Mr Key said that the law change was designed to make it tougher for some people to queue jump ahead of genuine applicants.
"Although it is likely that few, if any, refugee boats will ever reach New Zealand, we don't want to be seen as a soft touch when it comes to immigration." said Mr Key.
"This is about applying a consistent set of rules across the board. If people don't like the rules we set down, then there are always alternatives for them. They can choose to settle in another country. Or they can do what some people do when they don't like the law: pay us to change it."
Monday, April 30, 2012
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This used to be an amusing left wing legal blog with a satirical twist...when did it become the Labour party line all the time over and over again. Some of us read it for the legal element you know. Now it is getting rather far too close to the Standard's Jewish Banker meme.... why not just be like the Dom and have a stereotypical big Jewish nose in every cartoon of the current PM 'cos thats just so clever and funny (not).
ReplyDeleteThat's probably the most outlandish accusation ever thrown my way. So anyone who criticises or pokes fun at John Key is now anti-semitic? Good luck with that argument.
DeleteInterestingly, however, you do not deny being an anti-semite. Nor, I note, is there any effort to disassociate yourself from having sex with goats.
DeleteWhat is a reader meant to think?
I also haven't expressly denied taking cash from Sky City or Kim Dotcom.
DeleteI thought the PM was drawn with a big nose because, wait for it, wait for it, he has a big nose.
DeleteI wasn't aware the PM's nose is Jewish. I understand the PM himself is not particularly religious.
Do you know if he has other body parts that are religious? Catholic eyes, or Buddhist ears?
Naughty but true: "Or they can do what some people do when they don't like the law: pay us to change it."
ReplyDeleteSamcatte, what??? How is the post even remotely about John Key being Jewish?
ReplyDeleteSamcatte - as far as I can tell, it still is satirical. And it still often involves the law (namely the latest one National has put up for auction). But as the title says, it's about politics too, and as most of the idiocy that's worth poking fun at is being supplied by the John Key-led government, that's what it ends up being about. If you want to read lots of stuff about how hopeless Labour is and why JK is still the chosen one, I suggest you head over to Kiwiblog etc. But anti-semitic?
ReplyDeleteFor someone living in dire poverty in the 3rd world to get the money and social capital together to get a boat to New Zealand would take the most incredible effort and strength of will. They would have to dedicate every fibre of their being to the project, which would likely take more than a year to accomplish.
ReplyDeleteFor that same person to then become a lazy dole bludger as soon as they reach our shores is quite unlikely, why would somebody who has worked their ass of to get here then be content to sit on said ass for the rest of their life? The idea is absurd. A refugee who has made it to New Zealand should be exactly the sort of hard working go-getter who we want as an immigrant.
I fear the problem is with Key's dodgy diction, and that he hears the same way - his fear is of the hordes of Vote People and his uncertainty of what they might do to his cosy set up if he cannot control them. Already beset by a raft of problems, his ship of state is leaking and listing - with a sinking sieve-all service the rats will soon be abandoning this ship of fools...
ReplyDelete"Or they can do what some people do when they don't like the law: pay us to change it"
ReplyDeleteOr we can pocket the money and deny all knowledge.
I agree, anyone that has the nerves and guts to cross the Pacific ocean, then the Tasman in some leaking rickety tub deserves citizenship.
ReplyDeleteHaving crossed the Tasman east bound on a 4100 TEU Container vessel in rough conditions I can attest it's one hell of a stretch of water..