7:29 am
Was that the door? Oh my God, they’re here! I knew that one day the fascists in their jackboots and brown shirts would smash down my door and take me away. Didn't I warn everyone that this was where it was all going to lead? This is all the mainstream media’s fault. They wouldn't have dared to come here if only TVNZ had given me my own show.
Why didn't the fools listen to me? Damn you, mainstream media!
7:35 am
So it turns out that the knock on the door was a courier, here to deliver the John Pilger book I ordered online.
“Can I get your signature?” he asked me as he handed me the parcel.
I don’t often get asked for an autograph, but I’m always happy to make a fan’s day. It's hard to believe that when I pitched my hard-hitting current affairs show to TV3 they told me I didn't have enough of a public profile. Ha!
“Do you watch my show, or are you a follower of my blog?” I asked the courier.
“I don’t know who the f**k you are, mister,” he replied. “Just sign for the parcel, so I can get going.”
I could tell he was a Nazi the moment he pulled up in his van.
9:42 am
The ratings are due out today for my hard-hitting current affairs show, Sherwin Says. It’s on every week on Freeview channel 418, and I provide commentary on the issues of the day, asking the questions everyone in the mainstream media is afraid to ask.
Last week I eviscerated John Key’s government, labelling its members “a band of crazies sucking at the neoliberal crack pipe”. I would love to have seen the look on John Key’s face when his advisers ran to his office to report what I'd said.
11:16 am
The TV ratings are rigged! It’s just another scam engineered by a corrupt elite to shut down dissent. As soon as anyone challenges the existing power structures they get squashed.
There’s no way my show had only four viewers last month. They won’t stop my crusade!
1:21 pm
I can’t believe Nate Silver is getting all the credit for predicting an Obama victory. In an exclusive piece on my blog way back in October I picked Obama to win, not that most people would know. Of course the elites in power are determined to ignore me, because they know the mayhem I would cause. One day the public will awaken from their slumbers and realise that their country has been taken from them by the rich, the powerful and the greedy. And I shall be there to help them take it back, reporting every moment of the action on my blog for posterity.
1:34 pm
Bryce Edwards has again failed to include any of my blogposts in his daily politics round-up.
His decision to ignore my powerful post John Key is evil and kills children was obviously deliberate. He's part of the problem, not the solution, now that he works for the Herald.
4:08 pm
Spent most of the afternoon blocking people on Twitter, defriending people of Facebook, banning people from my blog, and writing a blogpost attacking various other bloggers and commentators on the left. The only thing worse than a right wing stooge is a leftie who has a different shade of opinion to mine.
I once offered to combine blog forces with The Standard, but they turned me down. Well it’s their loss. They’re just a bunch of tired Labour party hacks too scared to speak truth to power. Their politics disgust me, and I suspect them of being class enemies, one and all.
Why won't they let me do a guest post?
5:51 pm
That loathsome Whaleoil needs to be stopped. That obnoxious fascist clown and his National Party shill David Farrar represent everything that's wrong with the world.
And have you seen their blog traffic? It’s so unfair!
Friday, November 16, 2012
12 comments:
I welcome comments, but I ask commenters to follow a few simple rules:
1. I delete anonymous comments. Please use either a name or moniker. I am not asking anyone to reveal their secret identity. Just don't call yourself "Anonymous".
2. Please don't abuse or defame others.
3. Moronic or nonsensical comments may be deleted.
4. I don't often exercise the heavy hand of censorship, but I do reserve the right to delete any comment I don't like, for any reason.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Sounds suspiciously close to satire to me. But what do I know, I'm posting from prison after too many drink driving convictions.
ReplyDeleteWhere does Sherwin find the time to do all this, what with the damands of his busy real estate business?
ReplyDeleteI guess if the ceasefire in the Middle East can lapse, then blogging daggers can be drawn in Godzone as well; nice!
ReplyDeleteI think you're bigger than this.
ReplyDeleteI think you may be mistaken.
Deletefecking hilarious.....a lefty with a sense of humor.....sherwin is a fucking idiot!
DeleteGood luck if you ever need to sell your house REINZ will boycott you for sure.
ReplyDeleteWhat a bummer.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely superb
ReplyDeleteSuperb satire.... That Bomber can't take a joke, which makes it even funnier...
ReplyDeleteA couple of errors in that post. It's 'MSM' not 'mainstream media'. And it was a Michael Moore DVD, not a John Pilger book.
ReplyDeleteKia ora Aotearoa. Welcome farnow to the "Wank on News" with Marvyn "Bumber" Bradbury.
ReplyDeleteTonight's topic "I am always impressed by how little I know" But first an analysis on how I am perceived. Have a look:
'A deeply insecure man cloistered in his windowless, soundproof bunker, very deep beneath the heart of the grey-lynn-republic, while he prepares his nine minute falsetto shriek-fest on the net, propounding his scare mongering and conspiracy theory bullsh*t, which no-one watches. He also has a broom cupboard sized vanity project playing way out in the backblocks of community services telly. And no-one is watching that either. Innately envious of the mainstream media he is repulsed by what he perceives as their dumbing down, brain dead and "piss poor" approach to the news and current events. Yet his real raison d'ĂȘtre is to expose the right wing conspiracy perpetuated by the evil government(s) of this time and the associated nasty racist right wing hate groups. A marxist ideologue at heart, smug in his certitude, he forgoes promoting the emotional concept of self-righteousness to bang on like an evangelist about the injustices foisted on the populace by the afore mentioned neo-fascist right wing groups. Imploring 'Folks/People/Dear Readers/Fellow Comrades'...LISTEN TO ME. Gets all cut up when the people he's so desperate to convince dare to challenge his personal view on his causes. Develops a superiority complex, to mask the insecurity, and resorts to sneering, derogatory, patronising put downs of anyone with an opposing point of view. Resorts to his default setting whenever homosexuality, race or gender are mentioned in any context by shrilly screaming RACISM/SEXISM/HOMOPHOBIA. Ends up with only his sycophantic supporters (Tim and Fwank)to share and delight in his sheltered existence.'
But farnow .... we've gotta move on.