I'm not trying to blow my own trumpet or anything, but I have achieved a lot over the last 12 months.
- I didn't kill anyone this year.
- I didn't cheat anyone out of their money.
- I didn't use ruthless violence to advance my nefarious and dubious schemes.
Instead they gave the gong to a rugby player. I've nothing against Richie McCaw, but the way he kept the entire nation in a state of barely restrained near-panic over that foot of his ought to justify some sort of sanction. How dare you, sir! How very dare you! My poor heart has still not recovered.
I'll begrudgingly admit that winning the Rugby World Cup was important for the nation, particularly with the shitty year people have had.
But McCaw's had all the adulation he could ever want for that achievement. This was my year. My year!