The 618th North Pole Christmas Conference closed yesterday, leaving Santa and his helpers deeply divided, and exposing ugly rifts within the organisation.
The three day conference, which took place in a secret grotto in the far north of Canada's Quttinirpaaq National Park, attracted delegates from all major regions of the North Pole.
Showing posts with label Santa Claus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Santa Claus. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Monday, December 19, 2011
Dr Don Seeks To Sink Santa
Former ACT Party leader Dr Don Brash has confirmed he is seeking to replace Santa Claus as the bringer of joy to children around the world.
Persistent rumours of a move into the world of Christmas cheer have dogged Dr Brash since he resigned from the ACT Party on election night.
Last night Dr Brash confirmed he had been in discussions with a number of Santa’s elves about the leadership of their organisation. He said he was confident he had the numbers to replace Santa at the next board meeting at the North Pole this Wednesday.
“I have spoken to a number of people in the team, including Mrs Claus, the elves, and some of the reindeer. The decision is theirs to make, but I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think I had a shot at winning”, said Dr Brash.
Dr Brash says the organisation needs a new direction, and is promising big things if he wins the leadership battle.
"Frankly, the current direction Christmas is being taken in is unsustainable,” said Dr Brash. “I believe I can make a real difference. Under my leadership we can look forward to many more years of strong and stable Christmas celebrations.”
Santa’s leadership has been in question for several months, and recent polls have shown that fewer children than ever before now believe he exists.
The troubles began after Santa was caught out in 2009 taking Mrs Claus to Disneyland to see his friend Mickey Mouse, using money that had been allocated for the purchase of children’s toys.
Concerns have also been raised about some of the practices of Santa’s organisation, with some critics claiming that the elves have been sourcing low quality products from China in an effort to cut costs.
And in 2010 a Campbell Live investigation revealed that a number of men claiming to be the real Santa were in fact impostors, and that Santa knew about the fraud.
Secret footage taken for the show revealed that in shopping malls around the country children were being duped into thinking they were talking to the real Santa, when very often the lap they were sitting on belonged to an impostor.
When confronted with the footage Santa Claus said he knew about the fraud but kept it to himself because he did not think it was an issue.
Details of some of the vicious and ugly infighting within the organisation have been leaked to the public, further destabilising the current Santa’s leadership.
A large group of the reindeer were believed to be bitter over Santa’s decision to let Rudolph guide the sleigh this year, and this was confirmed last month when a series of emails between the reindeer Donder and Blitzen were leaked.
The emails reveal that the pair have been plotting to have Rudolph demoted to the back of the pack. The emails reveal a concern among the reindeer about Rudolph’s shiny red nose being an unnecessary distraction to the serious business of spreading Christmas joy.
Dr Brash said he was keen to make a break from the problems of the past, and breathe new life into an ailing organisation.
He said there was a need to return Santa and his jolly crew to the basic fundamentals of Christmas, which included slashing red Christmas tape and ribbon, and responsible gift-giving.
“Santa has grown fat and bloated, thanks to a culture of dependency upon Christmas pies, cakes and biscuits left out by children on Christmas Eve,” said Dr Brash.
“I can promise you that if I step into that red suit you will see a leaner and meaner Father Christmas.”
Dr Brash said that some of the policies he would pursue might not be popular in the short term, but were essential for the long-term survival of Christmas.
“Frankly, it makes no economic sense to be rewarding the children of the poor with any gifts at all, when surely the message we ought be instilling in them is that if their mummies and daddies work hard, get ahead and grow rich, then they can have the best new electronic gadgets and want for nothing.”
Dr Brash confirmed that he favoured further moves to make Christmas fully user-pays by the year 2025.
“We’ve made some progress in the last 30 years in this country, so that from late October every year we are bombarded with commercial messages about Christmas. But we need to go further.
“It isn’t enough that parents are being forced to pay exorbitant prices just so their kids can be photographed with Santa at the local mall. We should be encouraging kids to give cash directly to Santa.
“If Little Johnny wants a Transformer toy, then he can damn well pay Santa for it.”
This morning Santa Claus responded dismissively to Dr Brash’s leadership bid.
“Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas to one and all!” said Santa.
Persistent rumours of a move into the world of Christmas cheer have dogged Dr Brash since he resigned from the ACT Party on election night.
Last night Dr Brash confirmed he had been in discussions with a number of Santa’s elves about the leadership of their organisation. He said he was confident he had the numbers to replace Santa at the next board meeting at the North Pole this Wednesday.
“I have spoken to a number of people in the team, including Mrs Claus, the elves, and some of the reindeer. The decision is theirs to make, but I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think I had a shot at winning”, said Dr Brash.
Dr Brash says the organisation needs a new direction, and is promising big things if he wins the leadership battle.
"Frankly, the current direction Christmas is being taken in is unsustainable,” said Dr Brash. “I believe I can make a real difference. Under my leadership we can look forward to many more years of strong and stable Christmas celebrations.”
Santa’s leadership has been in question for several months, and recent polls have shown that fewer children than ever before now believe he exists.
The troubles began after Santa was caught out in 2009 taking Mrs Claus to Disneyland to see his friend Mickey Mouse, using money that had been allocated for the purchase of children’s toys.
Concerns have also been raised about some of the practices of Santa’s organisation, with some critics claiming that the elves have been sourcing low quality products from China in an effort to cut costs.
And in 2010 a Campbell Live investigation revealed that a number of men claiming to be the real Santa were in fact impostors, and that Santa knew about the fraud.
Secret footage taken for the show revealed that in shopping malls around the country children were being duped into thinking they were talking to the real Santa, when very often the lap they were sitting on belonged to an impostor.
When confronted with the footage Santa Claus said he knew about the fraud but kept it to himself because he did not think it was an issue.
Details of some of the vicious and ugly infighting within the organisation have been leaked to the public, further destabilising the current Santa’s leadership.
A large group of the reindeer were believed to be bitter over Santa’s decision to let Rudolph guide the sleigh this year, and this was confirmed last month when a series of emails between the reindeer Donder and Blitzen were leaked.
The emails reveal that the pair have been plotting to have Rudolph demoted to the back of the pack. The emails reveal a concern among the reindeer about Rudolph’s shiny red nose being an unnecessary distraction to the serious business of spreading Christmas joy.
Dr Brash said he was keen to make a break from the problems of the past, and breathe new life into an ailing organisation.
He said there was a need to return Santa and his jolly crew to the basic fundamentals of Christmas, which included slashing red Christmas tape and ribbon, and responsible gift-giving.
“Santa has grown fat and bloated, thanks to a culture of dependency upon Christmas pies, cakes and biscuits left out by children on Christmas Eve,” said Dr Brash.
“I can promise you that if I step into that red suit you will see a leaner and meaner Father Christmas.”
Dr Brash said that some of the policies he would pursue might not be popular in the short term, but were essential for the long-term survival of Christmas.
“Frankly, it makes no economic sense to be rewarding the children of the poor with any gifts at all, when surely the message we ought be instilling in them is that if their mummies and daddies work hard, get ahead and grow rich, then they can have the best new electronic gadgets and want for nothing.”
Dr Brash confirmed that he favoured further moves to make Christmas fully user-pays by the year 2025.
“We’ve made some progress in the last 30 years in this country, so that from late October every year we are bombarded with commercial messages about Christmas. But we need to go further.
“It isn’t enough that parents are being forced to pay exorbitant prices just so their kids can be photographed with Santa at the local mall. We should be encouraging kids to give cash directly to Santa.
“If Little Johnny wants a Transformer toy, then he can damn well pay Santa for it.”
This morning Santa Claus responded dismissively to Dr Brash’s leadership bid.
“Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas to one and all!” said Santa.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Gift Duty Ruling Stuns North Pole Resident
The Inland Revenue Department is reminding taxpayers of their obligations to pay gift duty, after an elderly taxpayer was found guilty of tax evasion.
The lawyer for the man, who has interim name suppression, has said his client will appeal the decision.
The ruling came after the IRD discovered a trail of undeclared gifts by the man stretching across many years.
Although the man is not a resident of New Zealand, tax laws mean that because the gifts took place in New Zealand, gift duty remains payable.
The man, understood to be a resident of the North Pole, reportedly gave thousands of gifts to strangers over a long period.
The man claimed during his trial that he only wanted to bring good cheer to the lives of children, and that his gifting had no purpose other than to bring happiness to the world.
But High Court Justice Sourcraft described the man in his judgment as "calculated and devious. [name redacted] crafted a clever scheme that involved giving thousands of small gifts, rather than fewer larger ones that would attract the attention of the revenue authorities. It is clear to this Court that [name redacted] is a methodical, untrustworthy and fundamentally dishonest man."
The man is due to be sentenced in February, but it is expected that he will be ordered to pay most, if not all, of the $452 million in taxes assessed by the IRD. The offence he has been convicted of is also punishable by a term of imprisonment.
The man's lawyer sought name suppression on the grounds that the defendant was a public figure who was well known to young children. His conviction would cause shock and hurt to many in the community and would destroy his reputation.
Justice Sourcraft declined the name suppression request. But that decision was appealed, and an interim name suppression order remains in place until tomorrow morning, when the issue goes before the Court of Appeal.
Tax partner Roger Nollaby of PriceWaterhouse Coopers said that the ruling was a timely reminder of the need to file gift statements.
"People may think that, just because the government is talking about doing away with gift duty, they don't have to worry about documenting their gifting properly.
"This case shows that they need to think again."
The convicted man was yesterday defiant, and said that he had done nothing wrong.
Speaking outside the courtroom as he was supported by his close friend Lindsay Perigo, the man said "I'm a legitimate businessman. It's ridiculous the red tape one has to cut through to run a business operation in this country. This country's gone to the dogs and is run by socialists.
"In my country we don't have all these stupid laws. I can do as I please, and I don't pay any taxes. The Arctic is the last utopia for true freedom lovers.
"Well then, if that's the way they want to treat me then their kids can forget about getting anything this Christmas. Ho ho f***ing ho!"
The lawyer for the man, who has interim name suppression, has said his client will appeal the decision.
The ruling came after the IRD discovered a trail of undeclared gifts by the man stretching across many years.
Although the man is not a resident of New Zealand, tax laws mean that because the gifts took place in New Zealand, gift duty remains payable.
The man, understood to be a resident of the North Pole, reportedly gave thousands of gifts to strangers over a long period.
The man claimed during his trial that he only wanted to bring good cheer to the lives of children, and that his gifting had no purpose other than to bring happiness to the world.
But High Court Justice Sourcraft described the man in his judgment as "calculated and devious. [name redacted] crafted a clever scheme that involved giving thousands of small gifts, rather than fewer larger ones that would attract the attention of the revenue authorities. It is clear to this Court that [name redacted] is a methodical, untrustworthy and fundamentally dishonest man."
The man is due to be sentenced in February, but it is expected that he will be ordered to pay most, if not all, of the $452 million in taxes assessed by the IRD. The offence he has been convicted of is also punishable by a term of imprisonment.
The man's lawyer sought name suppression on the grounds that the defendant was a public figure who was well known to young children. His conviction would cause shock and hurt to many in the community and would destroy his reputation.
Justice Sourcraft declined the name suppression request. But that decision was appealed, and an interim name suppression order remains in place until tomorrow morning, when the issue goes before the Court of Appeal.
Tax partner Roger Nollaby of PriceWaterhouse Coopers said that the ruling was a timely reminder of the need to file gift statements.
"People may think that, just because the government is talking about doing away with gift duty, they don't have to worry about documenting their gifting properly.
"This case shows that they need to think again."
The convicted man was yesterday defiant, and said that he had done nothing wrong.
Speaking outside the courtroom as he was supported by his close friend Lindsay Perigo, the man said "I'm a legitimate businessman. It's ridiculous the red tape one has to cut through to run a business operation in this country. This country's gone to the dogs and is run by socialists.
"In my country we don't have all these stupid laws. I can do as I please, and I don't pay any taxes. The Arctic is the last utopia for true freedom lovers.
"Well then, if that's the way they want to treat me then their kids can forget about getting anything this Christmas. Ho ho f***ing ho!"
Monday, November 29, 2010
Violence Mars Santa Parade Again
Organisers of the Auckland Santa Parade are reported to be considering cancelling future parades, after an incident ruined the annual event for families.
The event attracts up to a quarter of a million people, but in the last few years a number of incidents have ruined the enjoyment of the spectacle for many.
According to witnesses, a bottle was thrown at the final float in the parade, Santa's Sleigh, just as the float reached the bottom of Queen Street at about 3:30pm yesterday.
Television footage that aired last night showed the man playing the part of Santa Claus leaping from the float and charging into a crowd of children and parents, apparently trying to get to the person who threw the bottle.
A brawl involving Santa, children, parents and police then followed. The brawl was eventually broken up by police, with the aid of a Chinese cultural group involved with the parade. Members of the cultural group reportedly disarmed brawlers using high kicks and other martial arts techniques.
Police today confirmed that several people were arrested after the fight, and that a number of those arrested were in possession of weapons, including knives, handguns, fighting sticks and chainsaws.
Timmy Brown, aged eight, described what happened.
"I saw Santa running towards me. I thought he was going to give me a big hug, but instead he knocked me over. Now I've got a broken arm. I'm sorry I was such a naughty boy this year, Santa."
Parade organisers would not confirm the name of the man playing the role of Santa Claus, whom police arrested. But last night police named him as Vincent Wylie, sickness beneficiary. Police also confirmed that Mr Wylie is a member of the Mongrel Mob. They confirmed that a number of other gang members were arrested during the incident yesterday, and that the fight appeared to be gang-related.
Organisers of the parade had little to say about the disruption yesterday, although they did admit it cast doubt on the future of the event. But an inside source said that the incident stemmed from a refusal by organisers to allow a Black Power float to join the parade.
Black Power spokesman Jerome Smith said that the gang had approached organisers asking for a place in the parade, but had been refused.
"They said they didn't want no gangs involved," said Mr Smith.
"We told them that was bullshit, because the main float of the parade was all decked out in the colours of our rivals, but they said it was just a coincidence.
"It turns out the guy playing Santa was one of the Mongrel Mob's top men."
Mr Smith denied that Black Power deliberately disrupted the event.
"Nah, bro, I don't know nothing about that," said Mr Smith.
This is not the first incident to ruin the event for spectators, and other Auckland Santa Parades have been the target of disruptions.
Last year's event was marred by a terror attack when Islamic extremists disguised as bagpipers seized control of one of the floats. On that occasion swift intervention by the SAS allowed the event to continue after a delay to remove the bodies of the extremists and spectators who were killed.
And in 2007 the parade was effectively ambushed by another parade, led by adult entertainment entrepreneur Steve Crow. Motorbikes and convertible cars carrying naked women became intermingled with Christmas floats, much to the horror of parents of young children looking on.
But Auckland Mayor Len Brown, who took part in yesterday's parade and also the brawl, said he did not want to see the event cancelled.
"It is an Auckland tradition. Every year we have problems, but people keep coming back. People are mature enough to know that in any public event like this one you're going to get a few incidents.
"And this year the number of people stabbed to death by parade participants was only thirty-five. That's a record low."
The event attracts up to a quarter of a million people, but in the last few years a number of incidents have ruined the enjoyment of the spectacle for many.
According to witnesses, a bottle was thrown at the final float in the parade, Santa's Sleigh, just as the float reached the bottom of Queen Street at about 3:30pm yesterday.
Television footage that aired last night showed the man playing the part of Santa Claus leaping from the float and charging into a crowd of children and parents, apparently trying to get to the person who threw the bottle.
A brawl involving Santa, children, parents and police then followed. The brawl was eventually broken up by police, with the aid of a Chinese cultural group involved with the parade. Members of the cultural group reportedly disarmed brawlers using high kicks and other martial arts techniques.
Police today confirmed that several people were arrested after the fight, and that a number of those arrested were in possession of weapons, including knives, handguns, fighting sticks and chainsaws.
Timmy Brown, aged eight, described what happened.
"I saw Santa running towards me. I thought he was going to give me a big hug, but instead he knocked me over. Now I've got a broken arm. I'm sorry I was such a naughty boy this year, Santa."
Parade organisers would not confirm the name of the man playing the role of Santa Claus, whom police arrested. But last night police named him as Vincent Wylie, sickness beneficiary. Police also confirmed that Mr Wylie is a member of the Mongrel Mob. They confirmed that a number of other gang members were arrested during the incident yesterday, and that the fight appeared to be gang-related.
Organisers of the parade had little to say about the disruption yesterday, although they did admit it cast doubt on the future of the event. But an inside source said that the incident stemmed from a refusal by organisers to allow a Black Power float to join the parade.
Black Power spokesman Jerome Smith said that the gang had approached organisers asking for a place in the parade, but had been refused.
"They said they didn't want no gangs involved," said Mr Smith.
"We told them that was bullshit, because the main float of the parade was all decked out in the colours of our rivals, but they said it was just a coincidence.
"It turns out the guy playing Santa was one of the Mongrel Mob's top men."
Mr Smith denied that Black Power deliberately disrupted the event.
"Nah, bro, I don't know nothing about that," said Mr Smith.
This is not the first incident to ruin the event for spectators, and other Auckland Santa Parades have been the target of disruptions.
Last year's event was marred by a terror attack when Islamic extremists disguised as bagpipers seized control of one of the floats. On that occasion swift intervention by the SAS allowed the event to continue after a delay to remove the bodies of the extremists and spectators who were killed.
And in 2007 the parade was effectively ambushed by another parade, led by adult entertainment entrepreneur Steve Crow. Motorbikes and convertible cars carrying naked women became intermingled with Christmas floats, much to the horror of parents of young children looking on.
But Auckland Mayor Len Brown, who took part in yesterday's parade and also the brawl, said he did not want to see the event cancelled.
"It is an Auckland tradition. Every year we have problems, but people keep coming back. People are mature enough to know that in any public event like this one you're going to get a few incidents.
"And this year the number of people stabbed to death by parade participants was only thirty-five. That's a record low."
Monday, January 4, 2010
Copyright Ruling Crushes Santa
Copyright and brand owners were celebrating yesterday after a United States court issued a landmark ruling.
The ruling came after Masbrell Toys sued Mr Santa Claus for copyright, patent and trade mark infringement.
Masbell alleged the manufacture and distribution by Mr Claus of toys for the children of the world infringed numerous rights held by Masbrell and its affiliates. Masbrell sued Claus and was yesterday awarded US$1.2 billion in damages.
A spokesperson for Masbrell, Erich von Stroheim, said the judgment brought an end to the long drawn out court proceedings.
“We have been after Mr Claus for years,” said von Stroheim. “Every year he puts toys under kids’ trees. Toys we designed. He’s been ripping us off, depriving us of revenues for years.”
Von Stroheim cites the toy Pedro the Stinky Dinosaur as an example of the loss caused by Claus.
“Pedro was meant to be our top selling toy of 2007,”said von Stroheim. “Every kid wanted one. But Claus had his factories make millions of them, stealing our brands, our copyright and our name. And Pedro’s effluent orifice took us three years to design. We lost millions.
“Santa Claus is a thief,” said von Stroheim.
The ruling against Claus is expected to encourage other rights owners to take action against him.
But Claus is no stranger to legal troubles. Last year he was indicted for multiple breaches of US federal labour laws. And in Australia in 2003 he was prosecuted for deceptive and misleading behaviour, for claiming he would give good children presents, while naughty ones would get nothing. Those claims was found to be untrue and in breach of the Australian Trade Practices Act.
Mr Claus has also served time in prison for burglary and housebreaking. Most recently he served nine months in an English prison in 2004, after being discovered inside a chimney. His claim he was only delivering presents to good children were rejected by the magistrate, who described him as a “common thief” and a “contemptible rascal”.
Claus claims he is misunderstood. “It’s about the kids,” he said. “I’m delivering love and hope to millions. I don’t do this for money.”
But some experts have rubbished those claims. They say that Claus’s enterprise may conceal a range of illicit activities, including drug running, arms smuggling and people trafficking.
“He’s a vulture of the worst kind,” Jasper Smith, of PeopleAid, an organisation that tackles slave labour and the exploitation of migrants. “He preys on the weak and poor. He imports people to his factory complex on the North Pole. He tells them they’re going to a better life where they’ll earn good money, but he exploits them. They work long hours in awful conditions, and with no way to go home.
“Such is his contempt for these poor folk that he simply calls them his ‘elves’. The only way he gets away with this is because he operates outside territorial boundaries.
“And we don’t know who’s funding his operations. We have our suspicions, though. He has a fairly sophisticated delivery system.”
Mr Claus has denied any wrongdoing on his part.
Claus also claims he has no money, and that Masbrell will never see a cent from him. And he vows to continue the fight.
“If these bullies think they can stop me, they’d better think again. I’m not going to stop giving children the joy of Christmas.
“Except for the Muslims and Hindus. They don’t celebrate Christmas, so why should I waste my time with those lousy heathens?”
The ruling came after Masbrell Toys sued Mr Santa Claus for copyright, patent and trade mark infringement.
Masbell alleged the manufacture and distribution by Mr Claus of toys for the children of the world infringed numerous rights held by Masbrell and its affiliates. Masbrell sued Claus and was yesterday awarded US$1.2 billion in damages.
A spokesperson for Masbrell, Erich von Stroheim, said the judgment brought an end to the long drawn out court proceedings.
“We have been after Mr Claus for years,” said von Stroheim. “Every year he puts toys under kids’ trees. Toys we designed. He’s been ripping us off, depriving us of revenues for years.”
Von Stroheim cites the toy Pedro the Stinky Dinosaur as an example of the loss caused by Claus.
“Pedro was meant to be our top selling toy of 2007,”said von Stroheim. “Every kid wanted one. But Claus had his factories make millions of them, stealing our brands, our copyright and our name. And Pedro’s effluent orifice took us three years to design. We lost millions.
“Santa Claus is a thief,” said von Stroheim.
The ruling against Claus is expected to encourage other rights owners to take action against him.
But Claus is no stranger to legal troubles. Last year he was indicted for multiple breaches of US federal labour laws. And in Australia in 2003 he was prosecuted for deceptive and misleading behaviour, for claiming he would give good children presents, while naughty ones would get nothing. Those claims was found to be untrue and in breach of the Australian Trade Practices Act.
Mr Claus has also served time in prison for burglary and housebreaking. Most recently he served nine months in an English prison in 2004, after being discovered inside a chimney. His claim he was only delivering presents to good children were rejected by the magistrate, who described him as a “common thief” and a “contemptible rascal”.
Claus claims he is misunderstood. “It’s about the kids,” he said. “I’m delivering love and hope to millions. I don’t do this for money.”
But some experts have rubbished those claims. They say that Claus’s enterprise may conceal a range of illicit activities, including drug running, arms smuggling and people trafficking.
“He’s a vulture of the worst kind,” Jasper Smith, of PeopleAid, an organisation that tackles slave labour and the exploitation of migrants. “He preys on the weak and poor. He imports people to his factory complex on the North Pole. He tells them they’re going to a better life where they’ll earn good money, but he exploits them. They work long hours in awful conditions, and with no way to go home.
“Such is his contempt for these poor folk that he simply calls them his ‘elves’. The only way he gets away with this is because he operates outside territorial boundaries.
“And we don’t know who’s funding his operations. We have our suspicions, though. He has a fairly sophisticated delivery system.”
Mr Claus has denied any wrongdoing on his part.
Claus also claims he has no money, and that Masbrell will never see a cent from him. And he vows to continue the fight.
“If these bullies think they can stop me, they’d better think again. I’m not going to stop giving children the joy of Christmas.
“Except for the Muslims and Hindus. They don’t celebrate Christmas, so why should I waste my time with those lousy heathens?”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)