The season for apologies

I'm sorry about my tweet last night calling for the murder of all black people. I have now deleted the offending tweet.

Your Twitter Troubles Are Finally Over!

I know that many of my readers are active on Twitter. But if you’re like me then you probably have trouble finding the time to respond to all those tweets from other people.

Lawyers Who Tweet - Updated

For no particular reason (and following on from my now-ancient and out-of-date lawyers who blog post) I have decided to find out who are the most-followed New Zealand lawyers on Twitter.

I'm only interested in practising lawyers. I don't mind if they're not practising in NZ, so long as they are active in the NZ twittersphere. I'm also not interested in firms, just individuals. At a stretch I might accept legal academics... [updated: legal academics are being included]

Let me also be clear, since this point seems to be confusing some of my readers, that I am not making any claim that any legal academic or other person listed by me and who does not hold a current practising certificate, is a "lawyer".

At the time of posting here are my interim findings (highest to lowest ranking, Twitter address, and number of followers) [note: I've now updated this list to include a few more I've found]:

1. S. Rochelle Furneaux, @kiwiseabreeze, 2714
2. Rick Shera, @lawgeeknz, 2396
3. Cathy Odgers, @cactuskate2, 1386
4. Jeremy Sutton, @jeremysuttonnz, 1129
5. John Edwards, @jcelaw, 1089
6. Isabel Blake, @isabelblake, 1087
7. Scott Yorke, @imperatorfish, 1021
8. Matt Adams, @patentbuff, 641
9. Graeme Edgeler, @graemeedgeler, 429
10. Joshua Hitchcock, @jcphitchcock, 282
11. Aliza Eveleigh, @aliza27, 207
12. Dean Knight, @dean_knight, 169
13. Willie Hamilton, @hamiltonesquire, 145
14. David Abricossow, @davidabricossow, 123
15. Greg Presland, @gregpresland, 116

There are bound to be others I haven't even thought of. I know of a bunch of other tweeting lawyers, but most of them have at best a few hundred followers, so I'm not sure whether to include them in the list just yet. [updated: I included them]

I also know a number of other prominent blogging lawyers/legal types whose failure to use the Twitter platform should have them struck off forthwith (yes you, Professor Geddis!). I have hopes that this post might encourage more lawyers to take up the fine and noble art of tweeting.

Please, people, help me out here. I need names and Twitter addresses. I'll keep updating as and when I get more suspects.

Journalism?

They killed the NZPA, but Fairfax still found the money to pay a man to compile this.

Right Thinking: The Real Minister Of Twitter

Conservative columnist Dr. Frank Shizenhausen has something powerful to say about politicians' use of social media

When the revolution comes they'll announce it on the internet first. The socialists have even set up a site called Red Alert, so that they'll all know when its time for them to rise up and eat our babies.

That's why I keep an eye on the place. As the day of the revolution draws closer I know I'll need to increase my efforts to arm. The bunker's coming along nicely, and the courier should be along any moment now with the rocket launcher I ordered from Trade Me. Here's hoping the Russian MIG fighter arrives in the post before Red Alert announces the beginning of the Terror.

There's no call to revolution going on over there just yet, but they are deriding our finest ever finance minister since Sir Roger, and let me tell you it makes me sick.

All because of this message that Mr English posted on Twitter.

(I'm told that all the kids call these mini-messages "tweets". No doubt a word dreamed up while they were high on P)

I confess that in recent weeks I have myself dabbled in social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. It's all part of my effort to engage more with my allies, and to force my ideological enemies (women, zookeepers, Plunket nurses etc) to cower in terror. I read somewhere that effective social networking was all about sharing a part of yourself with the world. That's why every day on my Facebook wall I post a picture of my morning ablutions. I'm regular as clockwork, am I, thanks to a steady diet of bran, oats and women's panties. Do you like what you see? Am I doing this social networking thing right?

The thing that bugs me the most is that nobody seems to want to converse with me online. Why won't that Justin Bieber talk to me, dammit! I ought to go round there and take a belt to his hide, the whiny little toad.

Frivolous conversation is one thing, but when you're a responsible guardian of the nation's accounts the rules are different. That is why I have to take my hat off to Mr English for showing a suitable restraint and frugality when it comes to his Twitter output. You know someone is doing it all right when the socialists are mocking them.

Some MPs just can’t restrain themselves on Twitter. They tweet every idea that comes into their heads. But the nation can’t afford such extravagance, thanks to nine long years of Labour misrule. All this social networking will end up costing in the end, and we the taxpayer will end up picking up the bill. I wouldn't be surprised if all this incessant social media noise knocks a few planes out of the sky. That's one reason why I never fly. That and the restraining order.

So thank God for Bill English. Just like his financial management, his Twitter account is sensible, conservative and low on interventionism. Instead of going stupid with communicating to the voters and engaging with us, he wisely leaves his officials to regurgitate occasional links to press releases, while he gets on with more important tasks, like finding creative ways to claim a housing allowance.

The English plan of answering one Twitter question a week shows he is up to the task. Politicians from the left are forever clamouring for the government to intervene in the economy, to spend money we can’t afford, and to wade into the market. But National’s Twitter policy shows that this government does have a clear plan, and that frugality and restraint in tweeting are the order of the day. Bravo! Think of the hundreds of thousands of valuable tweets we could be saving every day if we all took Bill English's lead.

A finance minister who takes more than 30 seconds a week to engage with his social media followers is a luxury we simply cannot afford in these difficult times. The notion that political leadership involves listening to others may be the latest fad, but it’s a fad English and his boss John Key are happy to resist. They aren't interested in what we have to say, which is a damn relief. If there's one thing I've learned it's that democracy works best when people just do as they're told.

Reasons Why You Should Follow Me On Twitter

Are you on Twitter? If not, then you are missing a veritable rollercoaster ride of fun, frivolity and high drama.

If you are a Twitter enthusiast then, like me, you are living the dream.

For those of you who are yet to join in the social media phenomenon, I have nothing to say to you. How do you sleep at night? Won’t someone think of the children?

For the rest of you, a simple instruction: follow me.

My long-term plan in joining Twitter is to gather up enough followers so that I can issue orders to my millions of disciples when the time for the great uprising finally comes. The world’s a big place, and when we go to seize the means of production and the apparatus of the state we’ll need lots of people on the ground doing the dirty work. That’s why I need you.

If that isn’t a compelling enough reason, here are some more:

• I would so hate to see something bad happen to you. Have you checked the brakes on your car lately?  
• Everyone who follows me will get a free 12 month subscription to Ian Wishart’s new magazine “Investigate For Pets”.
• You will have access to all of my words of wisdom on Twitter. Even my back catalogue of tweets. And I’m offering this for free! I know, I’m going CRAAAAZY!
• You have no friends and no career prospects. You’re at the bottom of the heap. What really have you got to lose? You’ve nothing left.
• Jesus wants you to. He talks to me.
• I will also offer occasional legal advice to my followers, for free! Here’s a teaser so you get the idea of what I am offering: “People, don’t commit murder, because it’s a criminal offence.” If you want advice from any other lawyer they’ll charge you a bucket-load.

If you’re not convinced by those reasons then you never will be. In that case you are dead to me.

 

@ImperatorFish

I Am Now A Twit

I shun new fangled technologies generally. And I'm always a late adopter of new fads.

But I've decided to give this Twitter thing a try.

You can tweet me at ImperatorFish.

Go on - tell me you're in the shower, or buying donuts, or have missed your train. Maybe you're just taking a crap and thought you ought to let me know.

This social networking thing is a mystery to me - I prefer anti-social networking. Like going into a conference and, instead of meeting and greeting, pouring your coffee on the head of the facilitator.

Still, I'll give it a try. I can't wait for my first tweet.